I Didn't Ask For C*ck Pictures, Either

A couple of weeks ago, more out of boredom than anything else, I posted an ad in the personals section of Craigslist. (Don't look at me like that. It was just for entertainment value.) It was short, to the point, and did not include any version of the phrase "hey freaks come and get it." I received 200ish responses.

Some of the choicest, with original spelling and punctuation intact (natch):

“I'm going to get the details out of the way so I can dwell on my ex-girlfriend in the next paragraph"

“oh, yeah, and the friends-first thing works perfectly for me. i can't get it up.”

“Brain is not important for me. I don't think,i just do it”

"Naturally Dom guy here, loves to be in Control behind closed doors(light bondage, bdsm etc/Not into pain though) I can be aggressive, yet gentle, erotic and freaky, but sensual"

“im also a bounty hunter”

“I'm single and never been married, I live with my parents and have no kids.”

“hey, so what kind of black guy are you looking for?”

“saw your post and i think you deserve a chance to get to know me.”

“i can show you around, i guess. just don't make me feel like a loser babysitting some girl who's new to the city.”

And my personal favorite:

“I am 5'10" almost 200lbs. But you wouldn't know it from looking at me cause it's almost all muscle.”