Hooray for "San Francisco Values"!!

Please enjoy this ad for the rawking background music and the sweet moves of the dancers meant to embody our "San Francisco Values."

I Particularly Enjoyed the Huge Doughnuts

Today was the epic shitshow that is Bay to Breakers. I love that this city considers dressing up like Spiderman and running across the city hauling a keg in a Red Flyer wagon a lovely way to spend a Sunday.





More Pictures of Bay to Breakers

Scrutches?

This morning as I was crossing Post at Kearny, I saw a dude with a scooter. Not so out of place downtown. But then I looked closer. You know those doggy wheel crutches [see above]? He was riding one like that, with his left leg parallel to the pavement and resting on a scooter at knee level. Like a mashup between crutches and a scooter.

Volume 7,342 in the WTF?!? Chronicles

(Ed. Note: Methinks we've given up on this blog, but I'm out of grad school now and I need to keep my writing sharp. Kidding! I just need a place to vent.)

I was shopping online today (side note- is it pathetic that I think of simply doing some shopping- but never actually buying anything- as a reward for good behavior on par with drinking a whole 6-pack of Coors Light or, like, eating an entire chocolate cake?) and I was reminded of something that irritates the fuck out of me. (Side note #2- there are a lot of things that irritate the fuck out of me, including the movie "What About Bob?" and Hot Wings flavored Doritos.)

Steve Madden- maker of medium-cheap trendy shoes that miraculously fit my fat sausage feet- appear to hold their shoe-style-naming meetings immediately after smoking copious amounts of marijuana. Nothing has anything to do with the style it refers to, and everything has 2 or 3 extraneous letters. I'm not kidding:

Uh huh, yep, that shoe is called the "Bleekerr." It gets better:

It's the Optimom! Optimus Prime's slutty mother!

There's also the "Sirprise," the "Croshage" (Ed. note: wtf?), the "Honoluu," OMG I could seriously go on for days.

So, yeah. That bugs me. That is all.

Okay, just one more;


It's Flyish! Not really fly, just flyish! You know, for those days when you want something kinda fly and kinda not-fly.

The Loot

So after the bars close late last Thursday night, I find myself walking down a mostly-empty Market street towards home. I make the turn at Walgreens to start heading south, and find that the large glass window facing 9th street is freshly smashed, with pellets of safety glass still tinkling down onto the sidewalk.

It's not clear whether the two guys in front of the window were the ones that actually did the smashing, but what is clear is that they're stealing a rice cooker from the window display.

Guy 1: "Dude! Open your backpack."

Guy 2: (opens backpack) "Shit!" (drunkenly giggles)

Guy 1: "Here you go man, a rice cooker. From......Jesus!"

Guy 2: (drunkenly giggles)

Halloweenie

I realized, as I sat at an outdoor cafe with my mother yesterday, that I couldn't say- not with 100% confidence, anyway- who was in costume and who wasn't.

Politics

The candidates for Mayor of San Francisco met for a debate on Thursday night. Then they were attacked by zombies.