Cancer and Fruit

Today I was smoking an after-lunch cigarette (albeit at 3:00 pm--I work hard!) and I saw a woman walking down the street sipping her Jamba Juice. As we passed by each other going opposite directions on Market Street, I noticed that there was a cigarette perched between her left index and middle fingers. Jamba Juice and a cigarette simultaneously? Really? I can't say that I haven't been guilty of this particular combo myself, but I at least have the presence of mind to hide the 500-calorie juice bomb in my purse until I finish my Parlie. Duh.

Homeless Guy News Roundup, Friday, May 4th

A fidgety homeless dude was in front of me in line at the post office, and we shared about a 20-minute, slow-moving wait before being helped. When it was his turn, the homeless dude approached the lady across from him and asked for a stamp.

"One stamp?" the lady clarified.

"Yeah," he said, and plopped a fistful of change on the counter.


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I was walking down the sidewalk one afternoon, and came to a temporary stop in front of a Chinese restaurant to read the menu that was posted on the window. A second later, a man was shuffling up beside me, readying to ask me for money. He didn't go with the direct approach ("Spare change?") or the life story ("Maan, I'm livin' on the street because my girl kicked me out...") or the lowball approach ("You got a quarter?") or the humor angle (see below post) . Rather, he went for the guilt trip.

Guy, looking at my feet: "Whooo-hoo! I'd like to know where you got those shoes!"

Me: "Well, I bought them used off of Ebay."

Guy: "Well yeah....but....ok, still though....I mean..."


Did I just make a homeless guy backpedal?


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Loud homeless guy in a preachy mood: "...And do you know what the crime rate in that city is??"

Cop, arms crossed, looking bored: *answers with silent, condescending stare*

Loud homeless guy: "ZERO!!!!!!"